Swami Duffman Predicts: Bid 4 Your Heart Date Auction [The Beerquarium]

Bid 4 Your Heart Date Auction

So, of course, we had to pose the Swami side of me the question that we've all been wondering... what kind of girl would be nuts enough to actually pay to go out with me? In case you haven't heard, at the time I'm writing this, Lambda Lambda Lambda has sponsored me to be its representative in Alpha Phi's date auction to benefit Cardiac Care, known as Bid 4 Your Heart. Which, of course, means that they're nuts to begin with, because I'm sure we've got tons of people better suited for this. Either way, the Swami is going above and beyond, and although he cannot give the names of the bidders, he has arranged quite a bit.

Since Marku felt like weighing in on this one, too, we'll include his predictions in addition to the Swami's. His will just be a simple paragraph form, though, with an amount and general description. The Swami's predictions will be much more detailed, with paragraph descriptions of each of the bidders and the exact order of the bids.

Marku Says
[Warning: Major Inside Joke] Duffman will think nobody's going to bid on him and end up getting bought for a shitload of money (prediction: $120) by some weird stalker girl that he's never met before. This will be followed by a week of high-pitched, annoying worrying, specifically the phrases "What's going on?!" and "I don't understand!" By the Sunday afterward, Duffman will have already retreated into his room in an extremely pissy mood, refusing to talk about anything regarding the matter.

Swami Says I'll put the details of the prediction across the next two pages, and a little summary of the end results in another Swami Says box at the end. Continue on to the next page to see the bidders.